He he he..

Taken from FMyLife.com


Today, I went on a blind date. We had agreed on meeting in front of a park. Thinking I was there first, I texted her "I'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." I heard a beep. SHE was the "fat chick."

Saare Jahan Se Acha...

sāre jahāñ se acchā hindostāñ hamārā
ham bulbuleñ haiñ us kī vuh gulsitāñ hamārā

ġhurbat meñ hoñ agar ham, rahtā hai dil vat̤an meñ
samjho vuhīñ hameñ bhī dil ho jahāñ hamārā

parbat vuh sab se ūñchā, hamsāyah āsmāñ kā
vuh santarī hamārā, vuh pāsbāñ hamārā

godī meñ kheltī haiñ us kī hazāroñ nadiyāñ
gulshan hai jin ke dam se rashk-e janāñ hamārā

ay āb-rūd-e gangā! vuh din haiñ yād tujh ko?
utarā tire kināre jab kāravāñ hamārā

mażhab nahīñ sikhātā āpas meñ bair rakhnā
hindī haiñ ham, vat̤an hai hindostāñ hamārā

yūnān-o-miṣr-o-rumā sab miṭ gaʾe jahāñ se
ab tak magar hai bāqī nām-o-nishāñ hamārā

kuchh bāt hai kih hastī miṭtī nahīñ hamārī
sadiyoñ rahā hai dushman daur-e zamāñ hamārā

iqbāl! koʾī maḥram apnā nahīñ jahāñ meñ
maʿlūm kyā kisī ko dard-e nihāñ hamārā!

Translation

Better than the entire world, is our Hindustan,
We are its nightingales, and it (is) our garden abode

If we are in an alien place, the heart remains in the homeland,
Know us to be only there where our heart is.

That tallest mountain, that shade-sharer of the sky,
It (is) our sentry, it (is) our watchman

In its lap frolic those thousands of rivers,
Whose vitality makes our garden the envy of Paradise.

O the flowing waters of the Ganges, do you remember that day
When our caravan first disembarked on your waterfront?

Religion does not teach us to bear ill-will among ourselves
We are of Hind, our homeland is Hindustan.

In a world in which ancient Greece, Egypt and Rome have all vanished without trace
Our own attributes (name and sign) live on today.

Such is our existence that it cannot be erased
Even though, for centuries, the cycle of time has been our enemy.

Iqbal! We have no confidant in this world
What does any one know of our hidden pain? �

Jai Hind....

Best of Late Night Show - 31st May 2009

31st May 2009

"Hey, last night at a fundraiser in Beverly Hills, people paid $30,000 to attend a dinner and a discussion with President Barack Obama. The subject of the discussion? The struggling economy." --Jay Leno

"President Barack Obama's in Las Vegas. So, if things go well at the table, General Motors just might make it." --Jimmy Fallon

"Burger King is adding a new kids' meal that's lower in fat, sodium and calories. It's called the 'I Don't Want That.'" --Jimmy Fallon

One Wise Man...

A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment.

Then a new school year began. The very next afternoon three young boys, full of youthful, after-school enthusiasm, came down his street, beating merrily on every trash can they encountered. The crashing percussion continued day after day, until finally the wise old man decided it was time to take some action.

The next afternoon, he walked out to meet the young percussionists as they banged their way down the street. Stopping them, he said, "You kids are a lot of fun. I like to see you express your exuberance like that. In fact, I used to do the same thing when I was your age. Will you do me a favor?

I'll give you each a dollar if you'll promise to come around every day and do your thing." The kids were elated and continued to do a bang-up job on the trashcans.

After a few days, the old-timer greeted the kids again, but this time he had a sad smile on his face. "This recession's really putting a big dent in my income," he told them. "From now on, I'll only be able to pay you 50 cents to beat on the cans."

The noisemakers were obviously displeased, but they accepted his offer and continued their afternoon ruckus.

A few days later, the wily retiree approached them again as they drummed their way down the street. "Look," he said, "I haven't received my Social Security check yet, so I'm not going to be able to give you more than 25 cents. Will that be okay?"

"A freakin' quarter?" the drum leader exclaimed. "If you think we're going to waste our time, beating these cans around for a quarter, you're nuts! No way, dude. We quit!"

And the old man enjoyed peace and serenity for the rest of his days

Reach out to your Mom...

A man stopped at a flower shop to order some flowers to be wired to his mother who lived two hundred miles away. As he got out of his car he noticed a young girl sitting on the curb sobbing.

He asked her what was wrong and she replied,

"I wanted to buy a red rose for my mother. But I only have seventy-five cents, and a rose costs two dollars."

The man smiled and said, "Come on in with me. I'll buy you a rose." He bought the little girl her rose and ordered his own mother's flowers.

As they were leaving he offered the girl a ride home. She said, "Yes, please! You can take me to my mother."

She directed him to a cemetery, where she placed the rose on a freshly dug grave.

The man returned to the flower shop, canceled the wire order, picked up a bouquet and drove the two hundred miles to his mother's house.

If its meant to be, it will be..

As I walked home one freezing day, I stumbled on a wallet someone had lost in the street. I picked it up and looked inside to find some identification so I could call the owner. But the wallet contained only three dollars and a crumpled letter that looked as if it had been in there for years.

The envelope was worn and the only thing that was legible on it was the return address. I started to open the letter, hoping to find some clue. Then I saw the dateline--1924. The letter had been written almost sixty years ago. It was written in a beautiful feminine handwriting on powder blue stationery with a little flower in the left-hand corner. It was a "Dear John" letter that told the recipient, whose name appeared to be Michael, that the writer could not see him any more because her mother forbade it. Even so, she wrote that she would always love him. It was signed, Hannah. It was a beautiful letter, but there was no way except for the name Michael, that the owner could be identified. Maybe if I called information, the operator could find a phone listing for the address on the envelope.

"Operator," I began, "this is an unusual request. I'm trying to find the owner of a wallet that I found. . . "Well, there is a phone listing at that address, but I can't give you the number." She said, though that she would have them call me. I asked the woman on the other end of the line and she responded, "Oh! We bought this house from a family who had a daughter named Hannah. But that was 30 years ago!" "I remember that Hannah had to place her mother in the local nursing home some years ago. The nursing home told me the old lady had passed away some years ago but they did have a phone number for where they thought the daughter might be living. I thanked them and phoned. The woman who answered explained that Hannah herself was now living in a nursing home.

This whole thing was stupid, I thought to myself. Why was I making such a big deal over finding the owner of a wallet that had only three dollars and a letter that was almost 60 years old? Nevertheless, I called the nursing home, and was surprised to hear that “ Yes, Hannah is staying with us. " Even though it was already 10pm, I asked if I could come by to see her. I thanked him and drove over to the nursing home. We went up to the third floor of the large building and the nurse introduced me to Hannah. She was a sweet, silver-haired old timer with a warm smile and a twinkle in her eye. I told her about finding the wallet and showed her the letter.

The second she saw the powder blue envelope with that little flower on the left, she took a deep breath and said, "Young man, this letter was the last contact I ever had with Michael." She looked away for a moment deep in thought and then said softly, "I loved him very much. But I was only 16 at the time and my mother felt I was too young. Oh, he was so handsome. He looked like Sean Connery, the actor."

"Yes," she continued. "Michael Goldstein was a wonderful person. If you should find him, tell him I think of him often. And," she hesitated for a moment, almost biting her lip, "tell him I still love him. You know, "she said smiling as tears began to well up in her eyes, "I never did marry. I guess no one ever matched up to Michael..."

I thanked Hannah and said goodbye. I took the elevator to the first floor and as I stood by the door, the guard there asked, "Was the old lady able to help you?" I told him she had given me a lead. "At least I have a last name. But I think I'll let it go for a while. I spent almost the whole day trying to find the owner of this wallet."

I had taken out the wallet, which was a simple brown leather case with red lacing on the side. When the guard saw it, he said, "Hey, wait a minute! That's Mr. Goldstein's wallet. I'd know it anywhere with that bright red lacing. He's always losing that wallet. I must have found it in the halls at least three times." "Who's Mr. Goldstein?" I asked as my hand began to shake. "He's one of the old timers on the 8th floor. That's Mike Goldstein's wallet for sure. He must have lost it on one of his walks." I thanked the guard and quickly ran back to the nurse's office. I told her what the guard had said. We went back to the elevator and got on.

I prayed that Mr. Goldstein would be up. On the eighth floor, the floor nurse said, "I think he's still in the day room. He likes to read at night. He's a darling old man." We went to the only room that had any lights on and there was a man reading a book. The nurse went over to him and asked if he had lost his wallet. Mr. Goldstein looked up with surprise, put his hand in his back pocket and said, "Oh, it is missing!" This kind gentleman found a wallet and we wondered if it could be yours?" I handed Mr. Goldstein the wallet and the second he saw it, he smiled with relief and said, "Yes, that's it! It must have dropped out of my pocket this afternoon. I want to give you a reward."

"No, thank you," I said. "But I have to tell you something. I read the letter in the hope of finding out who owned the wallet." The smile on his face suddenly disappeared. "You read that letter?" "Not only did I read it, I think I know where Hannah is." He suddenly grew pale. "Hannah? You know where she is? How is she? Is she still as pretty as she was? Please, please tell me," he begged.

"She's fine...just as pretty as when you knew her." I said softly. The old man smiled with anticipation and asked, "Could you tell me where she is? I want to call her tomorrow." He grabbed my hand and said,"You know something, mister, I was so in love with that girl that when that letter came, my life literally ended. I never married. I guess I've always loved her. " "Mr. Goldstein," I said, "Come with me." We took the elevator down to the third floor. The hallways were darkened and only one or two little night-lights lit our way to the day room where Hannah was sitting alone watching the television. The nurse walked over to her.

"Hannah," she said softly, pointing to Michael, who was waiting with me in the doorway. "Do you know this man?" She adjusted her glasses, looked for a moment, but didn't say a word. Michael said softly, almost in a whisper, "Hannah, it's Michael. Do you remember me?" She gasped, "Michael! I don't believe it! Michael! It's you! My Michael!" He walked slowly towards her and they embraced. The nurse and I left with tears streaming down our faces. "See," I said. "See how the Good Lord works! If it's meant to be, it will be."

About three weeks later I got a call at my office from the nursing home. "Can you break away on Sunday to attend a wedding? Michael and Hannah are going to tie the knot!"

Taken from Rex Barker's joke-of-the-day mailer

Selfless love...

My wife called, 'How long will you be with that newspaper? Will you come here & make your darling daughter eat her food?’

I tossed the paper away & rushed to the scene.
My only daughter, Sindu, looked frightened; tears were welling up in her eyes. In front of her was a bowl filled to its brim with curd rice.
Sindu is a nice child, quite intelligent for her age.

I cleared my throat & picked up the bowl. 'Sindu darling, why don't you take a few mouthful of this curd rice? Just for Dad's sake dear.
Sindu softened a bit & wiped her tears with the back of her hands. 'Ok, Dad. I will eat - not just a few mouthfuls, but the whole lot of this.
But, you should...' Sindu hesitated. 'Dad, if I eat this entire curd rice, will you give me whatever I ask for?'

'Promise'. I covered the pink soft hand extended by my daughter with mine, & clinched the deal. Now I became a bit anxious.

'Sindu, dear, you shouldn't insist on getting a computer or any such expensive items. Dad does not have that kind of money right now. Ok?'
'No, Dad. I do not want anything expensive'. Slowly & painfully, she finished eating the whole quantity. I was silently angry with my wife & my mother for forcing my child to eat something that she detested.

After the ordeal was through, Sindu came to me with her eyes wide with expectation. All our attention was on her.

'Dad, I want to have my head shaved off, this Sunday!' was her demand.

'Atrocious!' shouted my wife, 'A girl child having her head shaved off?
Impossible!' 'Never in our family!' My mother rasped. 'She has been watching too much of TV. Our culture is getting totally spoiled with this TV programs!'

'Sindu, darling, why don't you ask for something else? We’ll be sad seeing you with a clean-shaven head.' 'Please, Sindu, why don't you try to understand our feelings?' I tried to plead with her.

'Dad, you saw how difficult it was for me to eat that Curd Rice'. Sindu was in tears. '& you promised to grant me whatever I ask for.
Now, you are going back on your words. Was it not you who told me the story of King Harishchandra, its moral that we should honor our promises no matter what?'

It was time for me to call the shots. 'Our promise must be kept.' 'Are you out of your mind?' chorused my mother & wife. 'No. If we go back on our promises, she will never learn to honour her own. Sindu, your wish will be fulfilled.'

With her head clean-shaven, Sindu had a round-face & her eyes looked big & beautiful.
On Monday morning, I dropped her at her school. It was a sight to watch my hairless Sindu walking towards her classroom. She turned around & waved.

I waved back with a smile. Just then, a boy alighted from a car & shouted, 'Sinduja, please wait for me!'

What struck me was the hairless head of that boy. 'May be, that is the in-stuff', I thought.

'Sir, your daughter Sinduja is great indeed!' Without introducing herself, a lady got out of the car, & continued, 'that boy who is walking along with your daughter is my son Harish. He is suffering from... leukemia'.

She paused to muffle her sobs. 'Harish could not attend the school for the whole of the last month. He lost all his hair due to the side effects of the chemotherapy. He refused to come back to school fearing the unintentional but cruel teasing of the schoolmates. Sinduja visited him last week & promised him that she will take care of the teasing issue.

But, I never imagined she would sacrifice her lovely hair for the sake of my son!
Sir, you & your wife are blessed to have such a noble soul as your daughter.'

I stood transfixed & then, I wept. 'My little Angel, you are teaching me how selfless real love is!'


“The happiest people are not those who live on their own terms…………but are those who change their terms for the ones whom they love”

Help others when you are able....

Taken from joke-of-the-day mailer

In ancient times, a caravan driver set forth on a journey, driving before him a Donkey and a Mule, both well laden. The Donkey, as long as he traveled along the plain, carried his load with ease, but when he began to ascend the steep path of the mountain, felt his load to be more than he could bear.

He entreated his companion to relieve him of a small portion, that he might carry home the rest; but the Mule paid no attention to the request. The Donkey shortly afterwards fell down dead under his burden.

Not knowing what else to do in so wild a region, the caravan driver placed upon the Mule the load carried by the Donkey in addition to his own, and at the top of all placed the hide of the Donkey, after he had skinned him.

The Mule, groaning beneath his heavy burden, said to himself: "I am getting my just deserts. If I had only been willing to assist the Donkey a little in his need, I should not now be bearing, together with his burden, himself as well."

Ten Commandents of Marriage...

Quite Funny... Loved the 2nd and 6th One...


COMMANDMENT 1
Marriages are made in heaven.
But so are thunder and lightning.

COMMANDMENT 2
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict
attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

COMMANDMENT 3
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!

COMMANDMENT 4
Married life is very frustrating.
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

COMMANDMENT5
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing:
Either the car is new or the wife is.

COMMANDMENT 6
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one;
The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

COMMANDMENT 7
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say.
After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

COMMANDMENT 8
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook.
But the law allows only one wife.

COMMANDMENT 9
Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry.
That is why wife treats husband like toxic waste.

COMMANDMENT 10
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished..

BONUS COMMANDMENT STORY
A long married couple came upon a wishing well.
The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
The wife decided to make a wish too.
But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.
The husband was stunned for a moment but then smiled and said,
'Hey!...This thing really works!'

Don't go so fast...

Taken from joke-of-the-day mailer

A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door! He slammed on the brakes and drove the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown. The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car, shouting,

"What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?"

The young boy was apologetic. "Please mister ... please, I'm sorry... I didn't know what else to do," he pleaded. "I threw the brick because no one else would stop..." With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car.

"It's my brother," he said. "He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up."

Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned driver, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me." Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out his handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay.

"Thank you and may God bless you," the grateful child told the stranger.

Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the little boy push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home. It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message: Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!

What is Beauty ???

Taken from joke-of-the-day.com mailer

A beauty products company ran a contest and asked the people in a large city to send pictures along with brief letters about the most beautiful women they knew. With in a few weeks thousands of letters were delivered to the company.

One letter in particular caught the attention of the employees and soon it was handed to the company president. The letter was written by a young boy who obviously was from a broken home, living in a run-down neighborhood. With spelling corrections, an excerpt from his letter read: "A beautiful woman lives down the street from me. I visit her every day. She makes me feel like the most important kid in the world. We play checkers and she listens to my problems. She understands me and when I leave she always yells out the door that she's proud of me." The boy ended his letter saying, "This picture shows you that she is the most beautiful woman. I hope I have a wife as pretty as her."

Intrigued by the letter, the president asked to see this woman's picture. His secretary handed him a photograph of a smiling, toothless woman, well-advanced in years, sitting in a wheelchair. Sparse gray hair was pulled back in a bun and wrinkles that formed deep furrows on her face were somehow diminished by the twinkle in her eyes.

"We can't use this woman," explained the president, smiling. "She would show the world that our products aren't necessary to be beautiful."

Area wise Indian Food Specialities..

Its called Mindset...

As my friend was passing the elephants, he suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg. No chains, no cages. It was obvious that the elephants could, at anytime, break away from the ropes they were tied to but for some reason, they did not. My friend saw a trainer nearby and asked why these beautiful, magnificent animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away.
"Well," he said, "when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it's enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free." My friend was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they couldn't, they were stuck right where they were.
Like the elephants, how many of us go through life hanging onto a belief that we cannot do something, simply because we failed at it once before? So make an attempt to grow further.... Why shouldn't we try it again?

"YOUR ATTEMPT MAY FAIL, BUT NEVER FAIL TO MAKE AN ATTEMPT."

What is recession?

A nice example ...

This Story is about a man who once upon a time was selling Hotdogs by the roadside. He was illiterate, so he never read newspapers. He was hard of hearing, so he never listened to the radio. His eyes were weak, so he never watched television. But enthusiastically, he sold lots of hotdogs. He was smart enough to offer some attractive schemes to increase his sales. His sales and profit went up. He ordered more a more raw material and buns and use to sale more. He recruited few more supporting staff to serve more customers. He started offering home deliveries. Eventually he got himself a bigger and better stove.

As his business was growing, the son, who had recently graduated from College, joined his father.

Then something strange happened.

The son asked, "Dad, aren't you aware of the great recession that is coming our way?" The father replied, "No, but tell me about it." The son said, "The international situation is terrible. The domestic situation is even worse. We should be prepared for the coming bad times."

The man thought that since his son had been to college, read the papers, listened to the radio and watched TV. He ought to know and his advice should not be taken lightly. So the next day onwards, the father cut down the his raw material order and buns, took down the colorful signboard, removed all the special schemes he was offering to the customers and was no longer as enthusiastic.

He reduced his staff strength by giving layoffs. Very soon, fewer and fewer people bothered to stop at his hotdog stand. And his sales started coming down rapidly, same is the profit..

The father said to his son, "Son, you were right". "We are in the middle of a recession and crisis. I am glad you warned me ahead of time."

Moral of The Story: Its all in your MIND! And we actually FUEL this recession much more than we think

Aging....

"AGING GRACEFULLY"
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT
OTHERS OF YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING,
"SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD?"
WELL... YOU'LL LOVE THIS TALE FROM A WOMAN!!



I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST.

I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME.


SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS NEARLY 40 YEARS AGO. COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN?

UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT. THIS BALDING, GRAY-HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS WAY TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE.

AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM
IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK HIGH SCHOOL
"YES. YES, I DID. I'M A MUSTANG," HE GLEAMED

"WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?" I ASKED.

HE ANSWERED, "IN 1968. WHY DO YOU ASK?"

"YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!" I EXCLAIMED.

HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.

THEN, THAT UGLY, OLD, WRINKLED, BALD, FAT, GRAY, DECREPIT man ASKED, "WHAT DID YOU TEACH "?

Things Are Not Always What They Appear To Be

Taken from Rex Barker's Joke-of-the-day mailer

A man was flying from Seattle to San Francisco. Unexpectedly, the plane stopped in Sacramento along the way. The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay, and if the passengers wanted to get off the aircraft, the plane would re-board in 50 minutes.

Everybody got off the plane except one gentleman who was blind. The man had noticed him as he walked by and could tell the gentleman was blind because his Seeing Eye dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of him throughout the entire flight. He could also tell he had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached him, and called him by name, "Keith, we're in Sacramento for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?" The blind man replied, "No thanks, but maybe my dog would like to stretch his legs."

Picture this:
All the people in the gate area came to a complete standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with a Seeing Eye dog! The pilot was even wearing sunglasses. People scattered. They not only tried to change planes, but they were trying to change airlines! True story

The Power of Positive Thinking

Taken from Rex Barker's Joke-of-the-day mailer

Jerry is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!" He was a unique manager because he had several waiters who had followed him around from restaurant to restaurant. The reason the waiters followed Jerry was because of his attitude. He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him, I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?" Jerry replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, Jerry, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood. I choose to be in a good mood.

Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life. "Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested. "Yes, it is," Jerry said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live life."

Every day we are given choices how to see things. We may not be able to change the circumstances, but we can certainly change our outlook and how we think. And this changed perspective will in the end change our circumstances.

Best of Late Night Shows - III

"Good news and bad news for Sarah Palin. The bad news is that the IRS says she owes thousands of dollars in back taxes. The good news is that she now qualifies to be in Obama’s Cabinet." --Craig Ferguson

"And one of the hardest hit businesses in this failing economy is plastic surgery. Fewer and fewer people are getting plastic surgery. How ironic is that? The one time you really need a smile on your face, you can't even afford to get it." --Jay Leno

"A new poll of historians just came out. And the poll has named former President George W. Bush one of the ten worst presidents of all time. But on the bright side, Bush was selected second best president named George Bush." --Conan O'Brien

"Happy Presidents' Day, everybody. As you know, the banks were all closed today. I understand a few are expected to open tomorrow." --Jay Leno

Good One...

1 . (Whatever)

Men: What should we have for dinner?

Women: Whatever...

Men: Why don’t we have Mexican ?

Women: No not Mexican, the last time I got pimples on my face.

Men: Alright, why don’t we have Sichuan cuisine.

Women: Yesterday we ate Szechuan, today too?

Men: Hmm..... I suggest we have seafood.

Women: Seafood is not good, I got diarrhea.

Men: Then what do you suggest?

Women : Whatever.....

2. (Anything)

Men: So what should we do now?

Women: Anything......

Men: How about watching a movie? It's been a long time.

Women: Watching movie is no good, it's a waste of time.

Men: How about we go for bowling, or some exercises?

Women: Exercise on such a hot day ?

Men: Then find a cafe' and have a drink.

Women: I am off caffeine.

Men: Then what do you suggest?

Women: Anything.......

3. (You decide)

Men: Then do we just go home ?

Women: You decide.

Men: Let’s take the bus, I will accompany you

Women: The Bus is dirty and crowded.

Men: Ok we will take a cab.

Women: Not worth it... for such a short distance.

Men: Alright, then we can walk. We can enjoy the weather.

Women: I am hungry, can't walk?

Men: Then what do you suggest?

Women: You decide.

Men: Let's have dinner first.

Women: Whatever...

Men: Eat what?

Women: Anything..... . . .

Quote of the day - Feb 17, 2009

There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread.
- Mother Teresa

Look at the other side...

A Father was reading a magazine and his little daughter every now and then distracted him. To keep her busy, he tore one page on which was printed the map of the world. He tore it into pieces and asked her to go to her room and put them together to make the map again.

He was sure she would take the whole day to get it done. But the little one came back within minutes with perfect map... When he asked how she could do it so quickly, she said, “Oh... Dad, there is a man’s face on the other side of the paper... I made the face perfect to get the map right." she ran outside to play leaving the father surprised.

Moral of the story:
There is always the other side to whatever you experience in this world. This story indirectly teaches a lesson. That is, whenever we come across a challenge or a puzzling situation, look at the other side... You will be surprised to see an easy way to tackle the problem..

Awesome picture ..Obama's Presidential Oath Ceremony

This is really awesome pciture ....

Here is a photo taken using a panaroma image capturing device called gigapan created by the carnegie mellon university and a canon g10 camera.
The photographer had to click 220 snaps from that camera to get this complete view of the Obama's inaugural address. It took a macbook pro around 7hrs to process the complete image. The final size of the image is over 2GB.

Zoom in and see, you can easily check out all the faces there

http://gigapan.org/viewGigapanFullscreen.php?auth=033ef14483ee899496648c2b4b06233c

Best of Late Night Shows - II

"President Barack Obama signed an executive order calling for the closure of Guantanamo Bay within a year. Actually, you know how he can close it faster? Make it a bank, okay? It'll shut down." --Jay Leno

"Of course, the media frenzy over Barack Obama is just getting bigger and bigger. It is really contagious. In fact, now that Barack Obama's president, Michael Jackson said he's thinking about being black again." --Jay Leno

"And the US Postal Service says they may cut postal service from six days to five days a week. They say they're losing money because people aren't using the postal service as much as they used to. If you'd like to complain, you can e-mail the complaint to uspostalservice.com." --Jay Leno

A Wild And Crazy Language...

English is the most widely used language in the history of our planet. One in every 7 humans can speak it. More than half of the world's books and 3 quarters of international mail is in English. Of all the languages,it has the largest vocabulary - perhaps as many as 2 MILLION words. Nonetheless, let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb thru annals of history but not a single annal? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preacher praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?

Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent? Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Met a sung hero or experienced requited love? Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable? And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm clock goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it.

Taken from Rex Barker's Joke-of-the-Day mailer...found it amusing

Keep Swimming...

Two frogs fell into a deep cream bowl.
One was an optimistic soul,
But the other took the gloomy view.
"We'll drown," he lamented without much ado,
And with a last despairing cry,
he flung up his legs and said "Goodbye."

Quote the other frog with a steadfast grin,
"I can't get out but I won't give in,
I'll just swim around till my strength is spent,
then I'll die the more content."
Bravely he swam to work his scheme,
And his struggles began to churn the cream.

The more he swam, his legs a flutter,
The more the cream turned into butter.
On top of the butter at last he stopped,
And out of the bowl he gaily hopped.

If you can't hop out, keep swimming around. You never know what your actions might cause, and often you get involved in something frustrating or apparently purposeless, but there always seems to be a hidden purpose in everything. Sometimes you will learn something critical, or meet someone who will play an important part in your life.

Taken from Rex Barker's Joke of the day mailer.

Tu Raja Ki Raj Dulari...

Lovely song from Oye Lucky Lucky Oye...in Haryanvi (Ragini)..it talks about the Marriage of Lord Shiva and Parvati

Just sharing the lyrics ...if possible hear it if not already done.


Tu Raja Ki Raj Dulari, Main Sirf Langote.., Aala Su.. ) - 2
Bhang Ragad Ke Piya Karu Main, Kundi Sote Aala Su
Tu Raja Ki Raj Dulari, Main Sirf Langote, Aala Su
Bhang Ragad Ke Piya Karu Main, ( Kundi Sote Aala Su ) - 2

Tu Raja Ki Chhori Se, Mere Ek Bhi Daasi Dost Nahi
Chal Tu Shawl Odhan Aali, Mhare Kambal Tak Bhi Paas Nahi
Tu baagan Ki Koyal Se ,aade barf pade Hari Ghaas Nahi
Kis tariya dil Lage Tera, Satran Chaul Prakash Nahi
Kise Saahukar Ke Byah Karwale,Saahukar Ke Byah Karwale
Main Khaali sote Aala Su
Bhang Ragad Ke Piya Karu Main, Kundi Sote Aala Su
Tu Raja Ki Raj Dulari, Main Sirf Langote, Aala Su
Bhang Ragad Ke Piya Karu Main, ( Kundi Sote Aala Su ) - 2

Main dhuna me tapa karun, tu aag dekh ke darr jagi
Rakh ghol ke Piyaa Karu Mera, Bhag Dekh Ke Dar Jaagi
Sau Sau Saap pade reh gale me, Naag Dekh Ke Dar Jaagi
Tane Julfo aala Chhora Chaiye, Julfo aala Chhora Chaiye
Main Lambe Chote aala Su
Bhangh Ragad Ke Piya Karu Main, Kundi Sote Aala Su
(Tu Raja Ki Raj Dulari, Main Sirf Langote, Aala Su
Bhangh Ragad Ke Piya Karu Main, Kundi Sote, Aala Su ) - 11

Quotes of the day - 12th January 2008

Assumptions are the termites of relationships.
-- Henry Winkler

If you knew what I know about the power of giving, you would not let a single meal pass without sharing it in some way.
-- Buddha

You are built not to shrink down to less but to blossom into more.
-- Oprah Winfrey, O Magazine, February 2003

Lets Help others....

Taken from Rex Barker joke-of-the-day mailer

There was once a little boy who was raised in an orphanage. The little boy had always wished that he could fly like a bird. It was very difficult for him to understand why he could not fly. There were birds at the zoo that were much bigger than he, and they could fly. "Why can't I?" he thought.

There was another little boy who was crippled. He had always wished that he could walk and run like other little boys and girls. "Why can't I be like them?" he thought.

One day the two boys met, and the first one asked the other if he had ever wanted to fly like a bird. "No," said the little boy who could not walk or run. "But I have wondered what it would be like to walk and run like other boys and girls." "That is very sad," said the little boy who wanted to fly. "Do you think we could be friends?" he said to the little boy in the sandbox. "Sure," said the little boy.

The two little boys played for hours. Then the little boy's father came with a wheelchair to pick up his son. The little boy who had always wanted to fly ran over to the boy's father and whispered something into his ear. "That would be OK," said the man.

The little boy who had always wanted to fly like a bird ran over to his new friend and said, "You are my only friend and I wish that there was something that I could do to make you walk and run like other little boys and girls. But I can't. But there is something that I can do for you."

The little orphan boy turned around and told his new friend to slide up onto his back. He then began to run across the grass. Faster and faster he ran, carrying the little crippled boy on his back. Faster and harder he ran across the park. Harder and harder he made his legs travel. Soon the wind just whistled across the two little boys' faces.

The little boy's father began to cry as he watched his beautiful little crippled son flapping his arms up and down in the wind, all the while yelling at the top of his voice,

"I'M FLYING, DADDY. I'M FLYING!"

By helping others with their challenges, you also overcome your own.

Quote - 2nd January 2009

"People might not get all they work for in this world, but they must certainly work for all they get." - Frederick Douglass

"Old age is not so bad when you consider the alternatives." - Maurice Chevalier

"Every Mother hopes that her daughter will find a Man better than hers and she is sure that her son won't find a wife better than his father's" - Anonymous