Aging....

"AGING GRACEFULLY"
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT
OTHERS OF YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING,
"SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD?"
WELL... YOU'LL LOVE THIS TALE FROM A WOMAN!!



I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST.

I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME.


SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS NEARLY 40 YEARS AGO. COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN?

UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT. THIS BALDING, GRAY-HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS WAY TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE.

AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM
IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK HIGH SCHOOL
"YES. YES, I DID. I'M A MUSTANG," HE GLEAMED

"WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?" I ASKED.

HE ANSWERED, "IN 1968. WHY DO YOU ASK?"

"YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!" I EXCLAIMED.

HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.

THEN, THAT UGLY, OLD, WRINKLED, BALD, FAT, GRAY, DECREPIT man ASKED, "WHAT DID YOU TEACH "?

Things Are Not Always What They Appear To Be

Taken from Rex Barker's Joke-of-the-day mailer

A man was flying from Seattle to San Francisco. Unexpectedly, the plane stopped in Sacramento along the way. The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay, and if the passengers wanted to get off the aircraft, the plane would re-board in 50 minutes.

Everybody got off the plane except one gentleman who was blind. The man had noticed him as he walked by and could tell the gentleman was blind because his Seeing Eye dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front of him throughout the entire flight. He could also tell he had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached him, and called him by name, "Keith, we're in Sacramento for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?" The blind man replied, "No thanks, but maybe my dog would like to stretch his legs."

Picture this:
All the people in the gate area came to a complete standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with a Seeing Eye dog! The pilot was even wearing sunglasses. People scattered. They not only tried to change planes, but they were trying to change airlines! True story

The Power of Positive Thinking

Taken from Rex Barker's Joke-of-the-day mailer

Jerry is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!" He was a unique manager because he had several waiters who had followed him around from restaurant to restaurant. The reason the waiters followed Jerry was because of his attitude. He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him, I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?" Jerry replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, Jerry, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood. I choose to be in a good mood.

Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life. "Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested. "Yes, it is," Jerry said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live life."

Every day we are given choices how to see things. We may not be able to change the circumstances, but we can certainly change our outlook and how we think. And this changed perspective will in the end change our circumstances.

Best of Late Night Shows - III

"Good news and bad news for Sarah Palin. The bad news is that the IRS says she owes thousands of dollars in back taxes. The good news is that she now qualifies to be in Obama’s Cabinet." --Craig Ferguson

"And one of the hardest hit businesses in this failing economy is plastic surgery. Fewer and fewer people are getting plastic surgery. How ironic is that? The one time you really need a smile on your face, you can't even afford to get it." --Jay Leno

"A new poll of historians just came out. And the poll has named former President George W. Bush one of the ten worst presidents of all time. But on the bright side, Bush was selected second best president named George Bush." --Conan O'Brien

"Happy Presidents' Day, everybody. As you know, the banks were all closed today. I understand a few are expected to open tomorrow." --Jay Leno

Good One...

1 . (Whatever)

Men: What should we have for dinner?

Women: Whatever...

Men: Why don’t we have Mexican ?

Women: No not Mexican, the last time I got pimples on my face.

Men: Alright, why don’t we have Sichuan cuisine.

Women: Yesterday we ate Szechuan, today too?

Men: Hmm..... I suggest we have seafood.

Women: Seafood is not good, I got diarrhea.

Men: Then what do you suggest?

Women : Whatever.....

2. (Anything)

Men: So what should we do now?

Women: Anything......

Men: How about watching a movie? It's been a long time.

Women: Watching movie is no good, it's a waste of time.

Men: How about we go for bowling, or some exercises?

Women: Exercise on such a hot day ?

Men: Then find a cafe' and have a drink.

Women: I am off caffeine.

Men: Then what do you suggest?

Women: Anything.......

3. (You decide)

Men: Then do we just go home ?

Women: You decide.

Men: Let’s take the bus, I will accompany you

Women: The Bus is dirty and crowded.

Men: Ok we will take a cab.

Women: Not worth it... for such a short distance.

Men: Alright, then we can walk. We can enjoy the weather.

Women: I am hungry, can't walk?

Men: Then what do you suggest?

Women: You decide.

Men: Let's have dinner first.

Women: Whatever...

Men: Eat what?

Women: Anything..... . . .

Quote of the day - Feb 17, 2009

There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread.
- Mother Teresa

Look at the other side...

A Father was reading a magazine and his little daughter every now and then distracted him. To keep her busy, he tore one page on which was printed the map of the world. He tore it into pieces and asked her to go to her room and put them together to make the map again.

He was sure she would take the whole day to get it done. But the little one came back within minutes with perfect map... When he asked how she could do it so quickly, she said, “Oh... Dad, there is a man’s face on the other side of the paper... I made the face perfect to get the map right." she ran outside to play leaving the father surprised.

Moral of the story:
There is always the other side to whatever you experience in this world. This story indirectly teaches a lesson. That is, whenever we come across a challenge or a puzzling situation, look at the other side... You will be surprised to see an easy way to tackle the problem..